Baked Calamari...

Here's a little recap of my weekend, and a lesson I learned the hot hard way. Warning - long post ahead. 

Friday night, I decided to bring the restaurant to our house, and try to mimic a night out, but in! 
I put on a little black dress, and set the table for a fun fall dinner for the hubbs and me. We always order Calamari when we go out, so I thought that I could do that at home just as easy! Little did I know. 

While trimming the table, I turn around to check the boiling oil, something smells funny... 

Using my Le Crusete-like Martha Stewart dutch oven, I lift the lid to find... A GREASE FIRE!  WHAT?! The oil in the pan had caught on fire and was roaring! 

All the sudden the kitchen fills with white smoke (that smelled really bad) and I go blank. [Insert panic] I know you aren't supposed to put water on a grease fire, but what are you supposed to use?

The hubbs isn't home yet, so I call my phone-a-friend, my mother. Here's how the call went: 

Mom: Hi Honey! What are you doing tonight? 
Me: GREASE FIRE, MY KITCHEN!!!! (apparently in times of distress, I can only say a few words)
Mom: What?! Call 911! 
Me: Well... it's not that bad yet, should I? It's in my dutch oven, should I put the lid back on or let some of it escape? 
Mom: Lid on, lid on! 
Me: Ok, let me put it back on and slide it off the main burner....... {BOOM!} - At this point the fire in the dutch oven explodes and the heavy lid jumps off the pot and fire shoots out like a dragon tongue. 
Me: Mom! Oh my gosh, the thing just exploded now what? 
Mom: Baking Soda! Pour baking soda on it! 
Me: I don't know where that is?! All I can find is baking powder... {BOOM!}...{scream}. 
Me: OK, let me call (husband) and see where he is. 
Mom: OK honey, call me back. 

{BOOM!} Yep, it kept exploding. All I could think was that which cabinet will catch on fire first?

Husband: Hey, hey hey! 
Me: Babe, there is a fire in the kitchen!!!! 
Husband: Like a fire fire, or a grease fire? 
Me: Grease fire, hurry! 
Husband: Well... I haven't picked up the wine or the Red Box yet. 
Me: I DON'T CARE, GET THE MOVIE LATER, JUST HURRY! 
Husband: Ok, I'm almost there. 

In the mean time, I decide to put on shoes, and a jacket to cover up my little black dress and run over to the neighbors for baking soda. Just then, I remember freezer! Maybe there is some in the freezer! At that point husband walks in, and I'm saved. 

From one twenty-something-learning-how-to-cook to another, find your baking soda, now. Seriously, go look for it. Keep it in the freezer, under the sink, whatever. 

Thankfully, the exploding grease fire did not ignite into the cabinets. And we continued with the ruined dinner, baked calamari style. 

The fire stain still wont come out of the dutch oven. Just a little reminder of how bad of a cook 
I am every time I try to use it. 

And, the baked calamari. Totally not as good as fried, but I was out of oil...

12 comments:

Sasha said...

I am dying laughing! I have so many parallels
to this story! Glad it all turned out okay! Xo

Lauren Johnson said...

Ha I'm sure you do! I can't wait to hear, lets compare stories over Christmas, maybe I'll learn something...

Michelle said...

Lauren! That is so scary! So glad that you survived :)

Ashley O. said...

This is really scary, but I have to admit I was laughing while reading this! Great dialogue.

Glad you're okay and the house didn't burn down... this is probably why (in hindsight) I don't cook/bake very much:)

Oh and very cute of you bringing "going out" in! Love that.

Lauren Johnson said...

Thanks Michelle, it was very very scary! I didn't know things exploded like that.

Where has one of my favorite bloggers disappeared to? I miss her!

Lauren Johnson said...

Thanks Michelle, it was very very scary! I didn't know things exploded like that.

Where has one of my favorite bloggers disappeared to? I miss her!

Lauren Johnson said...

Thanks Ashley! Yes - I'm glad we survived too, even the cabinets.

I made Tate go back outside and start over once the fire was gone.. it ruined my whole restaurant plan!

Danielle Oakey Interiors said...

Oh my, what a night!! So glad you didn't get burned by the grease and it all worked out!

Lauren Johnson said...

Thanks Danielle! Me too, could have been a true disaster!

Laura @ The Steen Style said...

OH bless your heart. Seriously. So happy Tate was that close! But it is a hysterical story for you to tell your grandchildren..... :)

Lauren Johnson said...

Ha so true Laura! My mom calls this my trial by 'fire'.

Bianca said...

I'm just impressed by your romantic night in! And the fact that you attempted calamari in the first place... You are one talented fire lady ;)

 
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